Dear Friends,

A guy is sitting at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He’s slamming whiskey left and right. He grabs one, drinks it, goes over to a window and jumps out. The guy who was sitting next to him couldn’t believe that the guy had just done that. He was more surprised when, ten minutes later, the same guy, unscathed, comes walking back into the bar and sits back down next to him. The astonished guy asks “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out that window and we’re hundreds of feet above the GROUND!”. The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of whiskey and when I jump out the window, the whiskey makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, slams it down, goes to the window and jumps out. The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls until right before the ground, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the guy walks back into the bar. The other guy has to try it too, so he orders a shot of whiskey. He drinks it and goes to the window and jumps. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all…SPLAT! The first guy orders another shot of whiskey and the bartender says to him, “You’re really an asshole when you’re drunk, Superman.”

I am at work at the moment, as usual, and I’m opening up some mail with invoices in them and there’s this one invoice from a company called ‘Schindler’s Lifts’… is it just me or is that politically incorrect? It’s a bit cheeky …

On a completely different note, I don’t think my boss likes me very much. I can clearly see she like’s some other employees, but with me… it aint lookin’ good. I suppose I shouldn’t really care, we don’t go out dancing together or to the pub… I rarely even see her at work. But it would be nice at least for her to like me. I’m a likeable person!

I get paid today YAY! Oh wait… no, I get paid next week. Bugger. Speaking of $$ I’m really good at saving my money, sure there are things every now and again that I must have. But for the most part, I save! What am I saving for, you ask? Well I’ll show you…

You can’t see me just yet, but one day I’ll magically appear standing on the balcony with a glass on champagne in one hand, and my fiance/husbands hand in the other. I couldn’t think of anything better.

I’ll leave you to ponder your own future, your welcome to live next door to me

Peace, Love & Art

Aisha

Hello one and all,

I know it’s not Valentines Day, or even close – but I have that song in my head… “My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine, you make me smile with my heart…” or so sweet, and OH so romantic.

I watched the Emmy’s last night – my god Conan O’Brien is hilarious. Did you watch it? Sheesh. Hilarious! “We are in trouble, with a capital T, and that rhymes with G, as in Gee we’re screwed!” LOL damn funny. I tried to find it on youtube.com but it’s not up yet. It probably will be in a few days.

I am eating a blueberry muffin. So soft and delicious. Why is it a blueberry… it’s not blue. It’s purple. Or at least burple… but definitely more purple than blue. Don’t you agree? I can see you all nodding your head

I read “He’s Just Not That Into You” yesterday, that is a fantastic book. It certainly opened my eyes up. Whether you are in a relationship or not, a woman or a man, BUY IT… READ IT. It gives you an insight into how us ladies make up excuses for men; “He’s busy because…” or “He hasn’t called because…” BECAUSE HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU! That’s right men, we can now see through your crap. It says in the book a man would rather lose his right arm than simply tell a girl “I’m just not that into you”. WHAT?! That’s ridiculous.

But every now and again you find a guy who says “I’m not like other guys… I’m different”. Well buddy, you ARE a dude therefore you are NOT different from other guys. Suck it up. You know it’s the truth. Just admit that as a guy, you have a tendency to act like an asshole. Just like I, a young woman, have the tendency to act like a bitch. It’s not a good or a bad thing – we are not assholes and bitches all the time – just some of the time. But this book definitely makes you feel empowered and confident with relationships.

I’m not a feminist, and I’m not men bashing – I luuuuurve men – I just found this book to be a real eye opener. And for a girl who finds it hard to understand her own mind, this book helps you understand the minds of men in relationships.

On a sad note… I finished my muffin. No more soft scrumptious fluffy wheat with small scrumptious PURPLE berries… sadness.

My funny valentine
Sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable
Unphotographable
Yet youre my favourite work of art

Is your figure less than Greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

But dont change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is valentines day

Is your figure less than Greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

But dont you change one hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is valentines day

… sung beautifully by Mr Frank Sinatra…

Peace, Love & Art

Aisha

Hola, Bonjour, Hallo, Hello and G’day!!

How was your weekend? Mine went terribly fast. I seem to remember Friday night like it was yesterday. But no, Aisha don’t be disillusioned it is Monday morning. The worlds favourite time of the week. Oh wait its not? My bad.

It was my friends gathering at the Surf Rock on Friday, which is a nice pub in the Northern Beaches. I went to see a special friend of mine, which I did for about 2 minutes TOPS. Most of my night I was outside trying to help this lady get into her car (cos she left her keys in the ignition yes, she was blonde! HA!). I did find it quite amusing this situation with her keys. Of course, she didnt find it remotely funny. There was another guy there, Ben who just wanted to throw a rock through the window. I, for one, was on Ben’s side. I thought that would have been hilarious! But low and behold the NRMA arrived and opened the car within 2 seconds. Literally!

Then I went to line up to get back in the pub and I couldn’t. The frickin pub was too full. I was quite pissed off with that. Not with the pub being full, but just because I didn’t get to hang out with my friend.

Ummm what else. Oh yeh, I watched Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. That is one funny movie.

Ricky Bobby: “Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful son’s, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my Red-Hot Smokin’ Wife, Carley.”

LOL I had a lot of laughs watching this movie. If you get the chance, check it out!

I seem to be getting a lot of invites to these myspace adult groups (you know the type Im talking about) so please, people stop inviting me! I am not going to join your wacky groups.

Sorry, just had to get that out of my system. I have nothing against the people in those groups, but its just not for me.

You know what I really enjoy doing? Those tests on tickle. I think they are fun, which Princess are you, who is your soul mate all those types of things. Obviously, they are not real or accurate, but its fun to play with J And for the record, I am Cinderella and my soul mate is Jake Gyllenhaal. Not bad!

I have nothing else to write for now, but thank you for reading!

Peace, Love & Art

Aisha